Devotional Tech Artist. Designer. Futurist.

Reverence vs Revenge.. how do we support collective Revelation?

Published about 1 year ago • 7 min read

Hello Reader,

Happy January! I seem to have more questions than answers these days. Today I am inspired to share a bit of my perspective & examples of reverence and revenge in the current cultural conversation. All of us are in this time of reckoning together!

The heat is definitely being turned up in every way. On our collective journey to full revelation ('apocalypse' in Greek) we are being lead through this phase where - "Minute after minute, human beings must choose between following their truth or actively denying it. From grey, they become black and/or white – as symbolized by the tessellated pavement." (Quote from the ATLMC from Clairvision School of Meditation.)

I was going to take this newsletter in the direction of reviewing the film & series below via the perspective of 4th Wave Feminism outlined and the recent Hella Feminist show at Oakland Museum of California.

Although I did push my academic career to the limits by receiving an MFA from a top art school, I feel my 22+ years of spiritual studies has helped inform my perspective the most. There is a relentless drive in me to find, understand and seek spiritual answers.

My meditation teacher once stared directly into my eyes and said, "YOUR SEEKING TRUTH IS YOUR HIGHEST PROTECTION." No physical weapons are truly going to keep me safe from death. Much of my art has been about this theme of protection. I first began exploring physical protection and later developing concepts and tools for spiritual protection.

As I have progressed as a spiritual student and devotional tech artist I believe vulnerability and violence and the experience of devastating beauty brings us each to the the threshold and paradox of life. What makes us feel most alive? Sex, birth, war, death.. in French they even have a term for orgasm la petite mort that means "the little death."

Often drawn like a moth to a flame, I have been drawn to the edges of my comfort zone. I have sought intensity and ways to feel the depth of my own aliveness. I have felt most alive by walking through my fears, by exploring my sexuality, by committing to sobriety (where the depressant of alcohol and cloudiness of drugs have been fully removed for 20+ years,) by trusting my inner curiosity and making unfiltered artwork from the depths of my psyche. I decided to choose the path of an artist so I could follow the magic of awe & discovery that I have only ever experienced through creativity. I DO NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND where these ideas come from.. perhaps via NOUS (the organ of noetic cognition from ancient Greek thought) and I am often in as much awe as the other viewers. It has become my way of tapping into our current zeitgeist.

There are not that many ways here in our daily life to feel our full intenseness. Is this why cultures are constantly creating wars? "There are only 3 countries in the world that America has not invaded or have never seen a US military presence: Andorra, Bhutan, Liechtenstein." From RUSSELL BRAND's channel STAY FREE AF.

How can women learn to treat the noble masculine with reverence and not just express rage as revenge? The victim identifying of #metoo movement does not fully capture the intensity and voice that I want to embody. On the #metoo website they state that is more than a viral hashtag; It's a movement for justice and healing for sexual violence survivors. What does authentic integrity filled justice, healing and empowerment look and feel for survivors ..and for each of us? How does a predator behave that is awakened and full of integrity?

We are living in a full-on information war and discernment is our greatest weapon. Is anyone excluded from the deluge of mind-numbing messages and content from profit-motivated corporations, big-tech, pharma and mass media? What does it mean to be awakened to follow TRUTH?

I am always inspired by this statement I heard years ago from the The Dalai Lama, "The world will be saved by the western woman," was delivered during the Vancouver Peace Summit 2009. What does the Dali Lama mean by the western woman? How do we bring forward feminine qualities of vulnerability and empathy but not lose fierceness and intensity?

How do we integrate spiritual vision and bring it MORE into pop culture? Pop Cul·ture | noun - modern popular culture transmitted via the mass media and aimed particularly at younger people. Clarity through contrast. Here are a few examples from 2020 that are tapping into rage and revenge. I feel these works (movie/HBO series) add to this dynamic conversation.

In Dec of 2020 I read this article from the NYT Emerald Fennell’s Dark, Jaded, Funny, Furious Fables of Female Revenge and it got me curious to watch the movie she directed called Promising Young Woman, trailer here. I actually watched in June 2021 on a Southwest flight from NY to AZ. Talk about making it into the mainstream flow. It was not an easy movie to watch and I sobbed at the end. It is worth watching but it is intense. Whew! Trigger Warning!

From Wikipedia: Promising Young Woman is a 2020 thriller film written, co-produced, and directed by Emerald Fennell in her feature directorial debut . It stars Carey Mulligan as a troubled young woman haunted by a traumatic past as she navigates balancing forgiveness and vengeance.

Another show that was recommended to me was I May Destroy You, trailer here. Again this show is f*cking intense! Major trigger warnings again if you watch it.

From Wikipedia: I May Destroy You is a British black comedy-drama television limited series created, written, co-directed, and executive produced by Michaela Coel for BBC One and HBO. Coel stars as Arabella, a young writer in the public eye who seeks to rebuild her life after being drugged and raped. According to Metacritic, I May Destroy You was the most critically acclaimed television program of 2020.

I loved the raw messy journey and especially the episode where she gets on stage at a writer's event and TRUTH TELLS about all the subtle forms of rape that are accepted or go unacknowledged in our culture (condoms being removed without permission.. etc) One of the many endings that is portrayed is SUPER violent and taps into collective rage that most victims feel or repress. I feel our cultural reckoning really is bringing new voices and stories forward.

I was asked recently is: What is your fierceness is service of? Extending that question into how does one create artworks, performances, movies that are trauma-informed.. (trauma-informed care is defined as practices that promote a culture of safety, empowerment, and healing) ...instead of triggering vengeance, pain, rage, alienation, and flashbacks of one's own trauma? Let's hold this question together.

If you'd like to join more in-depth discussions around creativity, sexuality and spirituality, I have 3 more spots in my Indestructible Beauty course that starts next Sunday, Jan 29th! If you are feminine-identified or have any questions.. please email!

Please forward to anyone you feel might resonate with this content.

xx Carrie Mae

Art that f*cking tells the TRUTH. Los Intocables (THE UNTOUCHABLES) by Erik Ravelo


3 things I am engaging and creating to TRANSFORM MY RAGE INTO BEAUTY and MY PAIN INTO A GIFT:

1 >> Re-visiting my 2008-2015 project Wearable Weapons that I created pre #metoo. I am evolving Wearable Weapons into a project that helps create tools of reclamation through an integration of sourcing the collective voice and wisdom - my fine art sculptures and wearables, other artists work, a compilation of survivor stories, visionary consultants, and leaders in the fields of sexual health, education and radical self-love.

2 >> Teaching my Indestructible Beauty course to a small group of feminine-identified humans. We explore creativity as a spiritual practice. Each week there will be a presentation of art works followed by an experiential activity, discussions and Q&As. There will be readings, creative tasks to complete between meetings, plus a final project (writing, spoken word, visual art, or movement.) Sign up on the website for more into & to be added to list for more details.

3 >> A year of consistent newsletters ( 1-2x a month ) to my friends, family and colleagues. Each newsletter will have a theme starting with the letter S. Here are my S topics below. Previous newsletters links below (current location for now :) *if you have an S theme to suggest, pls email!



03 SUCKULENT SERIES >> Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. -MLK

04 SONG >> Amazing Grace and my Momma Jean… the love runs deep!



Devotional Tech Artist. Designer. Futurist.

Read more from Devotional Tech Artist. Designer. Futurist.

Hello Reader, Holiday season is upon us. Hope you are able to find moments of peace and celebration amidst the chaos. The shortest days of the year are just past in this Northern hemisphere of Spaceship Earth. A time to go within, into the the shadows and darkness to find the inner light. On December 5th I finished the second round of my Indestructible Beauty (online) course.. here is what a few of them said: Inspiring. Illuminating. Beautiful. Safe. Fun! Diverse.This class has inspired me to...

over 1 year ago • 7 min read

Hello Reader, Story Time. I am not a very good singer. I can’t really hold a melody and I don’t know many notes or even what is sharp and what is in key. I know that the lyrics and melody of the song Amazing Grace moves me. For a few decades now this song has been one of my favorites. Years back I once made a CD for my sweet Momma Jean with all the covers I could find from iTunes with versions from Ani DeFranco, Joan Baez, Elvis Presley, LadySmith Black Manzambo, Johnny Cash, Béla Fleck and...

over 1 year ago • 8 min read

Hello Reader, I recently had an aha moment that if my 26 year old self attended an art talk given by my current 47 year old self, she would think I was pretty stellar. The best (and truly the only) measuring stick I can use is myself now to my earlier self. I use to be prey to compare and despair moments. Tornados of emotion that could often swirl out of control and take me down deep into a shame spiral. Suckulent 2001 The Social Dilemma outlines how the very creators of the like button and...

over 1 year ago • 5 min read
Share this post